No Early Bird

Kayaking

2010-08-14T17:14:00.001-04:00

brig and brooke
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Fifth of July

2010-07-05T10:24:00.003-04:00

It's summer, again. The closer I get to retirement, the more I have to pay for almost everything.

apr 10 three

2010-04-11T20:47:00.001-04:00

apr 10 three small
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Three for Sunday

feb 13 more three

2010-02-13T23:28:00.001-05:00

feb 13 more three
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Snow Day

2009-12-10T19:18:00.001-05:00

dec 10 snow
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Lots of snow today. It was glorious, is asking for more tomorrow wrong?

july 28 queen anne

2009-08-05T22:40:00.001-04:00

july 28 queen anne
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

july 28 more cone

2009-07-28T23:58:00.001-04:00

july 28 more cone
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

july 26 drama

2009-07-27T23:03:00.001-04:00

july 26 bathroom drama
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Wilie Gibson

2009-07-20T22:17:00.002-04:00

july 4 beach

2009-07-05T21:02:00.001-04:00

july 4 beach
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

rather cool day, but gorgeous.

june 23 driveway thoughts

2009-06-27T21:40:00.001-04:00

june 23 driveway thoughts
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

apr 11 old box

2009-04-12T20:54:00.001-04:00

apr 11 old box
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Was replaced with a new one. Change is constant.

apr 8 shopping

2009-04-09T00:54:00.001-04:00

apr 8 shopping
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

In the middle of the week.

mar 26 living

2009-03-26T20:11:00.001-04:00

mar 26 living copy
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

mar 23 two sisters

2009-03-23T20:42:00.001-04:00

mar 23 two sistersf
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Fast bleary stressful day, beautiful sisters.

mar 14 cat play

2009-03-14T22:45:00.001-04:00

mar 14 cat play 3
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Just whose toy is this?

mar 4 game play

2009-03-08T09:48:00.001-04:00

mar 4 game play
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Last game of the season. They won. Wish I had a 135 or 70-200 f 2/8. Someday.

feb 23 jump

2009-02-23T20:39:00.001-05:00

feb 23 jump
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Next to the last game.

feb 22 desert

2009-02-22T22:20:00.001-05:00

feb 22 desert before
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

The winter wind blew my storm door off yesterday, so I needed this today.

feb 20 red door

2009-02-20T20:51:00.001-05:00

feb 20 red doornf
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Used to be an Elizabeth Arden perfume. Probably still is. Need color in February. Good smells too.

feb 13 slippers for sharon

2009-02-13T20:31:00.001-05:00

feb 13 slippers for sharon
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

You will be so missed. You always made me smile and feel better. What greater person can do this, I do not know. Hope you are wearing the plushist of plush slippers that heaven can provide. Much love to you and thanks for being my friend.

feb 7 new shoes

2009-02-07T21:44:00.001-05:00

feb 7 new shoes
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Barbie wedges are stylish?

Two on the deck

2009-02-07T20:59:00.002-05:00

on the deck of life. This deck is falling down very slowly but surely. I suppose all decks in life are falling down, this one is just further down the fall. Still holds us up for now.

Gung Hay Fat Choi

2009-01-25T00:42:00.001-05:00

jan 24 cny
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Chinese take-out. Cashew chicken, egg rolls and shrimp fried rice for the year of the OX.

jan 17 sprint store

2009-01-17T22:24:00.001-05:00

jan 17 sprint storef
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

waiting, waiting while phone issues are fixed. Everything good takes time. Can we go home now??

Jan 11 whiskers

2009-01-11T20:22:00.001-05:00

Jan 11 whiskers
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

and lots of fleas.

jan 7 thousand club

2009-01-07T20:57:00.001-05:00

jan 7 thousand club 2
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Motivation, motivation. How does one get another one to do anything?

jan 6 cold

2009-01-06T20:05:00.001-05:00

jan 6 coldf2
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

cold, dark, gray. Only a small amount of impatience today. Getting to bed soon to recharge the patience supply.

jan 5 back to school

2009-01-05T21:34:00.001-05:00

jan 5 back to school
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Got up in the middle of the night to go back, bleh. This was taken after it was over. Going to do it again tomorrow.

jan 4 ollie and me

2009-01-04T20:06:00.001-05:00

jan 4 ollie and me
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

He won't cooperate well for cameras. Going to miss him this week.

Thanksgiving picture

2009-01-03T21:23:00.001-05:00

jan 3 thanks bottle filtered
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Saturday night and playing with old pictures, the kids deserted me today. Bleary day but bright picture came.

jan 2 young photographer

2009-01-02T21:38:00.001-05:00

jan 2 young photogf
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Hoping to influence my grandson. Taking pictures is so much fun. Looking at them after makes it even better.

dec 31 convenience store

2008-12-31T20:42:00.002-05:00

dec 31 convenience store
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

trip today.

Being the last day of the year I decided to sleep in today. Number three son however never does this and number two son woke soon after him.

Shortly thereafter both boys came into my room abruptly stating that I just HAD TO COME LOOK AT THE TV.

I pulled the pillow away from my eyes and muttered, "and why did I want to have children?"
MOMMM, you have to come and see. We need your help to write a letter. What cable tv company do we have?

Huh? I muttered and repeated again, having kids was my idea? It's the last day of the year, I don't have to work and all I want to do is sleep in late.

Both boys rambled something about not being able to watch Spongebob anymore. I smiled. I have come to find Spongebob quite annoying, this can't be a bad idea. TO get the boys to go away, I lied and said that we did NOT have that cable tv company.

I've been following the days news about Time/Warner and Spongebob, secretly hoping I might a few days with no "I can't hear you, Spongebob squarepants" droning through my house.

I still can't believe they felt it important to wake me with this news.

Girls slept till eleven and our only venture out today was to the gas station store.

dec 30 bored with makeup

2008-12-30T20:40:00.001-05:00

dec 30 bored with makeup
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Kids are so bored, they don't know what to do except watch tv, sleep and fight with each other. I hate it when they are mean to each other. Still trying in vain to eradicate this from all my families. I want to send them back to school and arrange for me to have another week off.

dec 26 day after

2008-12-26T20:07:00.001-05:00

dec 26 day after fill
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

tiredness. They went shopping at the mall and spent most of their much anticipated Visa gift cards. No Barbies, or Bratz or Webkins, just clothes.

Dec 20 evil cat

2008-12-20T21:46:00.001-05:00

Dec 20 evil cat2
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Oh to be a cat.

dec 20 play with me

2008-12-20T21:05:00.001-05:00

dec 20 play with me2
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Put the tree up today. Dog still disappointed in the amount of play time he gets. Cat is happy with whatever, suffers no guilt over destroying presents under HIS tree.

Dec 19 snow day

2008-12-20T21:03:00.001-05:00

Dec 19 snow day2
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

A gift for certain. No school on the last Friday of the school year.

dec 12 frostys stuff

2008-12-12T22:15:00.001-05:00

dec 12 frostys stuff
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

The thieves were seen at a local Subway after the crime occurred. Looking somewhat gleeful and remorseful. What moral compass has been set for them is uncertain at this writing. Spinach on Monterrey Jack whilst Frosty stands unclothed. Economic and moral downturn for certain.

More snow, is it June yet?

2008-12-07T16:03:00.002-05:00

2008-12-07T15:55:00.000-05:00

Snow came yesterday. Lots of it. It is not supposed to snow on a Saturday.

aug 22 waiting

2008-08-22T21:29:00.001-04:00

aug 22 waiting
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

for the doctor. Fear for shots. Big sister provides comfort. Very little a mom can do to take the fear away until it is over. She did ask for me to hold her when the nurse came.

aug 3 face

2008-08-03T23:04:00.001-04:00

aug 3 face
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

My grandson. He looks so much like his dad. Acts like him too. He is still suspicious of me.

july 27 asian lily

2008-07-27T21:14:00.001-04:00

july 27 asian lily
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Or is it a stargazer? I forget. The blooms took a long time to open this year. We've had a week of beans. Tomatoes are looking very good but green. Winning the war with weeds this week, but this could change.

july 24 sunflower

2008-07-24T23:03:00.001-04:00

july 24 sunflower
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

First one this year. Grew in a bucket. I didn't even "plant" it. Must've been a seed thrown in by one of the kids. Sure is pretty though, even if conceived in a bucket. Weird day today.

july 13 reflection

2008-07-13T21:40:00.001-04:00

july 13 reflection
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Looking for a good reflection for a photo assignment. Have walked by several but haven't found the best one yet. Watching the weather channel and a story about the Challenger explosion. The connection between the weather and what happened is fascinating. I love weather stuff. Summer has been absolutely glorious so far this year.

july 9 look

2008-07-09T22:56:00.001-04:00

july 9 lookbw
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

as in looks too old. Summer and time is sailing on by so fast. Beautiful day, beautiful weather, beautiful kid.

june 29 two

2008-06-29T23:19:00.001-04:00

june 29 two
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

of my kids. Spent most of today visiting. Glorious weather, can it last?

june 28 old fruit

2008-06-29T00:12:00.001-04:00

june 28 old fruitfr
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Camera focus has given me fits lately. Can't believe that June is almost over, again.

june 21 sun

2008-06-22T00:32:00.001-04:00

june 21 sun
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Summer solstice today. Early rain started our day, but the sun prevailed. I even got a nap and a two mile walk with Ollie. So many gorgeous days here lately. Life is good but expensive.

june 19 cat

2008-06-19T22:44:00.001-04:00

june 19 cat
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

In the window, she loves this semblance of outdoors. She's only ventured out onto the deck once and came running back into safety after the dog saw her.

june 17 short

2008-06-17T23:39:00.001-04:00

june 17 short
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

I was always short. Probably still am. Can't reach things on the high shelves nor fit in with the more cool taller people. Learn how to climb at the grocery store. Can't see over the steering wheel.

I suppose there are many worse things.

june 16 ick

2008-06-16T21:59:00.001-04:00

june 16 ick
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

What a face. Both hers and mine that I am hiding. So tired and worn out from schools end. Worried about the dog that I have neglected with heartworm medicine and let a bill deadline pass by. Ick seems appropriate tonight. My favorite time of year is not starting out in the right fashion.

Must be going to get better.

june 8 neighbor's tree

2008-06-08T21:16:00.001-04:00

june 8 neighbor 2
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

came down bouncing very quickly today. Storm came so fast it scared me. And I never get scared of these things. I went outside to get a picture of the tree bouncing in the wind and the neighbor screamed at me to get back inside.

I did. But came out later and took pictures. We are so saturated here that I was able to dig in the hard ground of my neglected garden and actually loosen some quack grass. More storms are coming as I get ready for bed.

Sleepover

2008-06-07T22:37:00.003-04:00

There are currently eight children in my house. None of them are interested in sleeping. WHY do they call these things a sleepover? The dog is loving all the increased opportunities to snatch food.

may 9 ice cream rust

2008-05-11T21:12:00.001-04:00

may 9 ice cream rust
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

ice cream after the dance recital. Didn't plan on spending my Friday here but it turned out to be very nice. Didn't dress appropriately but I brought my sweet student a rose. Should've put the ISO up higher. Didn't remember these things. Half empty glasses are all I have of late.

may 4 wii

2008-05-04T22:05:00.001-04:00

may 4 wii
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

We got a Wii! We are probably the last family on the block to get one to fight over. It's cooling down now from a fevered day of use. How long will the "nice" sharing continue? Spent way too much money on the soon to be wanting more money spent toy accessories.

Oh well the search is over as the middle son exclaimed.

in the hall

2008-04-03T21:59:00.001-04:00

in the hall
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

trying to get home with more jobs in the way. I felt terrible today but I made it through every job in my way. I love these halls as much as I want to get out of them. Tomorrow will be better.

jan 18 blue hat

2008-01-18T23:12:00.001-05:00

jan 18 blue
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

and red hair. I ALWAYS wanted to have red hair. Dye didn't work and wishes didn't either. Red hair is just so beautiful. It's snowing buckets of snow tonight and the calendar says it is Friday. Heavy snow is only supposed to come on school days.

Should, supposed to. Bah, bad words.

Red hair is great though.

jan 1 trees

2008-01-01T23:05:00.001-05:00

jan 1 trees
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Lots of snow last night and today. Hope more comes on a school day. 2007 disappeared, I know it did. Where the heck did it go? Only a few more days of sleeping later and then the gruel begins again. I really would be okay if the day started later.

dec 31 grammaw

2007-12-31T23:28:00.001-05:00

dec 31 grammaw
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Last day of this year. Kids asked me what this meant. To be the last day of something? What was ending, what then would begin? Is the New Year started on the same day everywhere?

I tried to explain that people like to mark time. Different people mark time differently but most do this in some way.

One hundred years ago, my maternal grandmother was a little older than the pasty white one in this picture. Ten years from now the darker one in this picture will be old enough to drive, vote and drink whatever she chooses.

In one hundred years the little one will tell stories of his aunt and grammaw as he remember them and the times in which they messed with him.

People will still mark time somehow probably with some fancy electric gadget. Maybe electricity will be an old concept?

Baby's heads will still be soft though, this I believe.

Brady

2007-12-28T23:07:00.000-05:00

Journey To Brady

I first saw these two tiny pictures of Brady on a website for persons interested in adopting from an unspecified Asian country. This was the winter of 1999/2000. He was listed as having been born on October 11, 1999, my father’s birthday. I do admit to clicking on that date line on purpose.
There were several children but mostly little boys listed on this site. I never wrote back to the webmaster for this site but continued to visit the picture often. Each time I found myself looking a bit longer. Then I saved the picture. Then I noticed fine details like his large dark eyes and long slender fingers.
A friend of mine wrote to me in early winter of 2000 about adopting from Cambodia. What did I know, what was my experience with Brigitte like, etc.? Could I help with details? As her adoption experience unfolded, we wrote often.
Just before my friend traveled I sent her Kimseng’s picture and asked her if she would try and find where out he was. She said she would do her best.
Upon her return, she sent me this tiny picture.
I remember that Wednesday morning when I downloaded my email. When I looked into his dark eyes everything around me stopped. Kimseng was found and was real. You are not supposed to bond with a picture but I did.
I wrote and asked about him. Imagine my surprise when I was told that if I wanted to adopt him he would be assigned to me. So I sent all of the necessary papers. During all of this a moratorium was placed on adoptions from Cambodia. This was supposed to be a brief interruption while a new subdecree of “rules” for international adoption from Cambodia could be written and formalized.
I was told that travel would most likely be in September or October. September came so did October. The rains also came in Cambodia, lots of rain. The flooding worried everyone. In October I got these pictures.

Travel now was said to be at Christmas time. The holidays came and the good news came that several families had in fact traveled to Cambodia and had brought their children home. Such good news, surely this meant that the moratorium was over and everything would work out soon.

This was not to be the case and January, February and then March came. I like many others despaired that anything would ever happen. At the end of March I did receive another message and picture. The Cambodian adoption program was to reopen soon. Preparations continued to happen slowly but at the end of May I was asked when I wanted to come, approval was received.
On June 12, 2001, I again stepped aboard a plane and said goodbye to my children.
My short flight from Grand Rapids Michigan to Chicago O’Hare was canceled due to a malfunction of weather radar. What a great way to start a long journey. I managed to get another flight to Chicago and with only minutes to spare was transferred to a United flight from Chicago to Narita/Tokyo Japan and then on to Singapore.

Only problem? The plane was done boarding and leaving momentarily on a 14-hour trip. My family at home would not know of this change. I asked to be let off the plane to call home. They did and I called my daughter Kristin. Kristin later read something on the United Airlines website about the flight being delayed due to customer service handling.
By this time I was a complete and utter wreck. I had to be in Phnom Penh by Thursday morning so as not to miss an important appointment with Cambodian government officials. Connections were extremely close. Feelings of wanting desperately to have control over a situation but actually having no control warred inside my being. Very similar to the feelings I had had concerning Brady’s adoption for the preceding ten months.
I don’t remember much of this trip except the kind man who I sat next too. He had told me about the flight to Narita when I was leaving Grand Rapids and helped me to find the correct gate and he had this cool device, a Palm Pilot that he was using and then explaining to me. I have to get one of these things.
He told me he had a house not far from mine in Kalamazoo but lived mostly in Bangkok Thailand. The kindness of complete strangers is a large blessing in this world. It made me think of the man who had helped me in the Guangzhou Baiyun Airport (in China) when I needed assistance getting through customs and appeared to be very lost and confused.
I made it through Narita, but I was sad that I spent so little time in Tokyo. Silly thoughts of 1950’s movies about Japan and my childhood were running through a very tired head. Thoughts that are evoked as a result of long travel combined with lack of sleep and anxiety are hard to describe and reconcile.
Then I was at the Changi Airport at Singapore. This is an amazing airport. I missed the indoor garden perhaps because I was more mesmerized by the two different cyber (internet) cafes. I do admit to being thrilled that I could access not only my family but also Yahoogroups! My APC friends will understand I hope!
Being able to write my family made me feel not so far away as I actually was. Changi has many shopping venues and two transit hotels and free use strollers? And this was 12 Midnight Singapore time. O’Hare could learn and improve a lot by comparison.
I stayed in the transit hotel from 1 a.m. until 7 o’clock in the morning. After I showered, I turned on the television and smiled when I saw Hope and Bo Brady from the “Days of our Lives” American soap opera. I heard the name Brady in Singapore on an American soap opera? Why/how do these coincidences happen?
I then proceeded on Silk Air to Phnom Penh and amazingly I was on time after the initial canceled flight. It was an hour and a half flight from Singapore to Phnom Penh. I found myself helping a young Cambodian/American Citizen who was returning to his homeland fill out the visa application. Again I was struck by the odds of this.
Pochentong Airport was so different than what I remembered of June of 98. A skywalk from the plane to the inside of the airport was the first change I noticed. No “dragon breath heat” as a friend quipped about to hit you on the tarmac, one now walks in a/c comfort to the inside of the terminal. Reconfirmed my belief that the only thing constant in life is change. I was to find out later that the government of Cambodia is trying to greatly improve the airport with many renovations.
Upon my arrival I soon found my way through the visa line. I was second off the plane to complete the visa application. This process seemed much friendlier and relaxed the second time also. I was the first to get my visa but I was last at the luggage carousel. My luggage had not made it with me. I was to find out three days from this time that the luggage was still sitting in Chicago O’hare.

I spent about an hour at the Lost and Found room filling out forms concerning my lost luggage. I was to call back the next day to inquire. My driver and translator were waiting for me at the new pavilion like structure just outside the airport. Again this was a very friendly change to the Pochentong experience. On my last trip the beggars at the airport waiting to meet the new arrivals were overwhelming, there were none this time.
I then was taken to the MiCasa Hotel. This is a new hotel right next to the famous Sofitel Cambodiana hotel. The MiCasa greeting area is open with no doors. It was very beautiful. It is located right next to the Mekong River. After leaving what little carry on luggage I had there it was off to see some officials.
Several questions were asked as to who I was and why I wanted to adopt a son from Cambodia. “Trafficking the child?” was asked of me more than twice. I put my red thumbprint on some papers and then it was off to a small office in central Phnom Penh. Kimseng was there waiting for me.
He looked exactly like his pictures. His nanny/caretaker was holding him with a morose look on her face. He had on a navy blue and white rugby style shirt on. He wanted nothing to do with me and looked at me suspiciously. We then went back to the MiCasa, the driver, the nanny, Kimseng, my translator and I.

It was decided that I would return to the orphanage with gifts that I had packed in my lost luggage, should they arrive at Pochentong tomorrow. Kimseng’s nanny was visibly upset. Kimseng bellowed and called out as she left.
My driver Poch had told me that Kimseng was “very active, very active!” Here was this stone-faced and still little boy. On our first night together looking out the balcony windows of the MiCasa, he was very quiet.
It seemed to be later than the clock said it was. Six P.M., I think. I made Kimseng a bottle and then laid him on the bed. He stared right at me with those eyes.
My memories of Brigitte were different. She averted her eyes from mine at every chance. Kimseng seemed to study my eyes in opposition. It was still daylight when I crawled under the down comforter in the coolness with him.
I wish I could describe this feeling of traveling for so long and then meeting someone that you have envisioned meeting for so long. I wish I were a better writer to articulate this. Words fail me.
We both slept until very early morning that day in June 2001. He seemed not to move.

Back | Journey to Brady Part 2

Journey To Brady Part Two

Our First Moments
MiCasa
First Friends

I awoke before dawn the next morning to find Mel Gibson in “The Patriot” on the television, with Thai subtitles. On my first trip to Cambodia for Brigitte, I was surprised to see Leonardo DiCaprio dubbed in Thai in “The Titantic” at the Sunway Hotel. Brady was still fast asleep. When he did awake he was startled to see my face. He did not cry but I could sense discomfort. He watched me cautiously.
He sat on the bed for quite some time now fascinated with the stacking cups I had brought for him. Cheerios were a happy surprise for Brady. He filled the cups and his mouth with Cheerios while I got us both ready for the day.
There were people already out on Sisowath Quay at dawn busy on their way to somewhere in Phnom Penh. The street seemed to come alive just before daylight. There was a man with a sledgehammer knocking down a wall atop the building directly across the street. He then lowered the smashed debris to the ground below in a bucket and pulley type system. This man would continue to work at this project for the rest of the week I watched. All of this by his own hand, no power tools to be seen anywhere.

It was now time for Brady’s first bath and a change of clothing. We still did not have our luggage but I had managed the evening before to go to Tabitha’s and the Central Market and buy three outfits. We would then go to the airport if our luggage arrived today.
Brady went eagerly in the water (sink) and was nonplused when I poured water over his head to wash his hair. He was still quiet but very curious and seemingly fearless. He grabbed everything he could within reach. He quickly discovered how interesting the toilet and toilet paper roll could be. The buttons on the room safe that made that funny noise also fascinated him.
Brady knew what a telephone was and also made any object that resembled a telephone into a telephone. I was very surprised when he put a toy car up to his ear and said clearly, “hallo, hallo?” It seemed to me that there was as many cell phones in Cambodia as there were motos so a telephone was a familiar thing to him.

This toy car had been given to him on the first day I arrived at the MiCasa by a couple who were leaving after having been in Cambodia for a week. They had taken several of these toy cars to the orphanage and told me that Kimseng was thrilled with them and was very funny to watch as the children played with the cars. We somehow lost the car upon coming home, but will always remember his joy at playing with it. I think it is still in the MiCasa somewhere!
The concierge at the MiCasa was very kind to call Pochentong Airport concerning my luggage but it still had not arrived on our second day. She would keep calling for me and let me know when it arrived.
So it was decided that we go out to orphanage to visit and to take pictures.

Brady and Brady’s nanny were overjoyed to see each other again. Brady was also happy to see his friends. He toddled off and chattered to everyone in sight as if to tell them he was back!
I mentioned my surprise at Brady saying “hello” and pretending to use a telephone and the director laughed and told me that Kimseng had been “talking to his momma in America” on the telephone for quite some time.
I had packed an entire bag of gifts for the orphanage and was uncomfortable at going back there with nothing. But they were gracious and seemed to understand. I promised that I would be back with the gifts as soon as my luggage arrived.
Children gathered around me some smiling and some very quiet but observing me. The caretakers greeted me with smiles.

Brady and friends on nap mat
Older kids waiting for lunch

Dana
Sisters and brother
Socheata

Saronn
Socheata & Dana
I took many pictures and then left with a promise to return again tomorrow. Brady bellowed at leaving his beloved nanny and she had tears streaming down her face when we got into the car. She waved until our car was down the entry road and out of sight.
This was very difficult for me too. These two were very much attached. Brady fell asleep in my arms in the car on the way back to Phnom Penh.

Back | Journey to Brady Part 3

Trip to Brigitte

2007-12-28T22:40:00.000-05:00

The Journey to Brigitte

Written by Brigitte's mommy Kathie

Part One

I have to say that when I first got word from my agency that I needed to be in Phnom Penh on June 28, I was quite shocked. I didn't expect to be going so soon after the referral on June 1. I called my oldest daughter Kristin at work to tell her and she was more shocked than I. The next two days she became weepy and I became so very frightened.

I have to tell a little story that a first grader in my classroom told to me to help you understand my feelings of panic. This little guy's name was Dustin. His mom and dad had had a fight and at lunchtime at school he was telling me about what happened. His mom packed him and his brother up and put them in the car and drove from our town to a town some 10 miles away. In his own way Dustin was talking about his fears and emotions. He said with a very weary look on his face, "my mom dwove us to the udder side of the world!" It must have seemed that far to him to be away from his home and everything he knew.

I have an inflatable globe. I started to pinch the side that we are on and in the other hand pinch the side that Phnom Penh was on. Gosh it seemed like so much space was between my two pinches. "The udder side of the world!" During the next couple

of weeks I became very teary eyed and questioned what I was about to do. To leave my children who were the dearest thing to me and everything that I knew in life? What was I doing? There are not adequate words to describe my fears and feelings.

Kristin too was very scared. She became testy and short with me. We had words about whether she wanted me to go through with this and how she was going to manage Brett, the pets, and the house while I was gone. And not being able to call each other on the telephone, YIKES. She calls me two or three times while she is working in a day. Yes you might say the umbilical cord was never cut but that's the way we like it.

I lay down with Brett Saturday the 27 when he took his nap. I didn't sleep much and said something to Kristin when I got up about the fact that this would be the last time that he and I would nap together, just he and I for a while. She got upset. She didn't think I was coming back, my plane would crash, I would be taken captive or some other evil would befall me. (Oh did I tell you that my sister Linda shared these beliefs and drove me crazy with fear the week before I left too?)

We made it to the local airport after stopping at Target to buy a luggage strap and suitcase lock. I got a red balloon for Brett. We had to wait a little while in the airport. Brett had great fun running back and forth between the video game arcade room and the lobby. He had no idea what was going on. I was biting my lip the whole time in order to not get too emotional. Big hugs, I went through the metal detector and caught a glimpse of my two darlings, (Chad slept in and did not come to the airport, my only kid who likes to sleep as much as I do!) as they disappeared out the door. I am not doing this again for a very long time, I thought.

I got on the little American Eagle propellor plane to Chicago Ohare and the tears started flowing. Just writing about this makes them want to start again. Yes I was excited about the adoption, meeting my new daughter, but leaving them was just overwhelming. If do this again, they are all going with me! The flight was only about 40 minutes to Chicago, but I found the first phone I could and called home! Did the same when I made it to Los Angeles.

I had a great diversion to allay my fears in Los Angeles when Patti came up to me and introduced herself. We talked and laughed and shared stories. She had read my posts on the Cambodia adopt list. We were to be on the same Thai Airlines flight to Phnom Penh. Not being alone anymore made it a whole lot easier. I only remember seeing movies on the flight over and dozing in and out of sleep. Leonardo DiCaprio was too cool in "The Man in The Iron Mask".

We had a stop in Osaka, Japan for refueling and cleaning of the plane. Patti and I got to talk some more and get to know each other. She was going to meet her daughter of two months whom she was planning to name Emma. We had so much to share and laugh about. We found a ladies room in the Osaka airport. I was very surprised to see a very different looking toilet. It was just a porcelain trench on a tile pedestal. On the porcelain, the word "TOTO" was written. Perhaps a toilet maker in Japan? Well I said to Patti in the next stall, "I guess we are not in Kansas anymore!" It did seem like I was getting farther and farther away from home and everything familiar. Just how do women with nice long skirts use these kind of toilets without accident?

Our next stop was Bangkok. By this time I was very tired. It was 5 in the morning Thailand time and I think 5 pm Monday in Kzoo. I had been traveling for 28 hours with about 4 hours or so of sleep. There was lots of nice shops and things to see in the airport but all I could think about was how were my kids doing. Patti and I found the airport Post Office where she called her husband and I faxed a message to Kristin for only $3. I told her of the movies I saw on the plane, that I was okay and how much I missed her. Patti had to tell her husband how to clean something. Cleaning advice all the way from Bangkok! We both laughed. We had five very long hours in the airport.

Finally it was time to get on shuttle bus to the airplane that would take us to Phnom Penh. We met a lady from North Carolina who lived in Phnom Penh. Again it was nice to talk to someone from the states who knew some stuff about where we were going. The world is smaller than I think, I thought.

On the plane we were given entrance and exit visa forms to fill out. I thought, I guess I'm actually going there now. I took pictures align=left height=168 width=210> of the very muddy looking Mekong river as the plane made it's descent. I thought it was strange that I could see no paved roads below. I wondered if the airport would look like it did in the movie, "The Killing Fields". It seemed smaller than the Kalamazoo airport.

When the plane landed I was very tired and disoriented but managed to make it through a long line of people waiting to get their entrance visas into Phnom Penh. I was so scared that no one would be there to meet me and take me to where I had to go but amazingly, I picked my facilitator's face out of the waiting crowd. She gave me a big hug as if she had known me for a long while. She told Patti and I how to get our luggage and what to do next. We managed to get the bags into her car with Mr. Pol's help. There were many local people wanting to help carry our bags for a tip and it was scary as they descended upon us. She spoke loudly to the driver, "Tell them to back off!"

Once safely inside her car, my facilitator explained that we were going first to Cham Chau to meet Patti's baby. I would then go on with her later to Kompong Speu to meet my new daughter. The excitement of seeing my new daughter so soon was only tempered a little by the fact that I had not had a shower in a day and a half! Gosh I would have to wait not much longer!

It was only a 15 minute ride to Cham Chau, but I already felt like I was somewhere very different from what I knew as familiar. After spending so much time on airplanes and in airports it was strange to be actually out somewhere actually driving down the road. And it looked very different from Kalamazoo!

The main road was paved but the road leading into Cham Chau was muddy and bumpy. You should see their potholes! All the stories I had heard about the wild frenetic driving were very true. It seemed like "dodge'em cars!" Whoever was the bravest, quickest, boldest, and maybe craziest went first. You could pass anybody anywhere you liked and anyhow you could manage. People were seemingly everywhere. Whole families with little ones perched out front were on these little cyclos. No seatbelt or child restraint laws seem to be in effect here.

When we pulled into the entrance at Cham Chau, we could see the director was holding this teeny tiny little baby at the entry way. They knew we were coming. It was Patti's angel. I think Patti was amazed at how small she seemed. Emma had a full head of thick dark hair and the tinest facial features. She was sound asleep in Naly's arms.

The building seemed very clean and quiet. There were several nannies, align=left height=149 width=210> babies and a few older children there. It was open to the outside air with sling like hammocks attached to the walls that had sleeping babies inside. I took several pictures of Patti and her new daughter and looked around a little. I took some pictures of some of the other babies and some picture requests for some waiting people back home. height=172 width=220 align=right>My facilitator and the director spoke English but no one else seemed to speak English. I tried to ask a few questions about how the babies were taken care of and then it was time to go. I wish I could have spent more time just to observe and watch the babies and children. It seemed to happen so fast.

Patti and her baby were going to go after formula, water, snacks and then go back to check in to the Sunway. We said we would talk later and said goodbye.

Part Two-The Road to Kompong Speu and Brigitte.

I got into the car with my facilitator and we started on the road to Kompong Speu. I asked how far it would be. The driver said about 40 kilometers. I still have many pictures in my head of the people, animals and other things I saw on the way. It seemed that there were people going somewhere everywhere. The streets were very crowded in Phnom Penh. I saw gas stations about every half a mile. Again the sight of seeing small children on cyclos seemed so unsettling. Having American carseat regulations pounded into me for years, I wondered how many accidents and hurt people there must be.

I'll probably sound silly here but it was amazing to me to look out the car window and see what I thought were very starved water buffalos wading in rice fields and lotus blossoms floating on water. There were watermelons on every corner for sale. My facilitator said it was "watermelon time". As we got out of PP, the city and street scenes disappeared. I asked my facilitator about the possiblity of taking pictures for some waiting families at home. She said certainly yes and that she would help. She said that she thought it was wonderful that families were helping each other out this way.

It didn't seem very long, (my judgement of time passing was being affected by my tiredness,) but we were pulling off the road to the left. A gate was being opened and we pulled into a larger building than the one at Cham Chau. There were two ladies standing in the doorway holding a small child. I recognized her immediately. It was Heng Nith. She looked just like her referral picture. She was wearing a blue t-shirt and shorts outfit. The lady holding her was older and had her head shaved, just like Heng's. align=right height=202 width=175>

I thought Heng's head and little hair that she had seemed gray, but I think she had powder put on it. She had a very tired and suspicious look when I approached her. The next few moments are fuzzy in my memory. I was so excited at seeing her and in partial disbelief that it had actually happened. It seemed to me I had waited an eternity to get to meet her and now it was happening with lightening speed. Only the people with me seemed to speak English here, so I regret I was not able to get many answers to my questions.

My facilitator told me that Heng/Brigitte's nanny was 62 years old. She was a striking looking women. Her gray hair was very short, she was very trim and agile. Her teeth were red stained. I found out on the way home that she chewed on some kind of nut. Sounded like Beedle nuts? Brigitte did not want to look at me nor let me hold her. When I did take her and hold her she bellowed and reached back for her nanny's arms. She seemed content to be in her nanny's arms. And very clearly wanted nothing to do with me whatsoever.

I asked if I could take pictures of Mary Jo's Lon, who was sleeping in the next room. So I turned my attention away from Brigitte for a few moments. During the next few moments my facilitator went to talk to someone in another room and I tried to take pictures of the other children there and ask about Brigitte. It seemed like I did a lot of charades. I asked what she ate and what she was like? They said she did not drink any milk and liked to play with toys. How did she sleep? No real answer, not sure they understood the question.

My facilitator came back and it was time to go. I gave a present to Brigitte's nanny, and said my thank yous. I took some more pictures of the older children that had now gathered around to look at this strange lady with bleached hair who had come there, (me). align=left height=159 width=205> They kept a short distance away from me, but did smile when I tried to talk to them. I teach first grade and feel that I am able to talk to children easily, but I felt very much at a loss of words in talking to them. I only wish I would have had something to give them. I traveled alone and was not able to carry much. I felt like I was taking away something very precious so I should have done this.

It was time to go, so I took Brigitte into my arms. She immediately started to bellow and cry and scream out for her nanny. This was very stressful for me. As a mother it goes against my nature to cause distress in my children and I felt I was causing her great distress. These are just the feelings I was having, nothing rational to them. She cried and screamed in the car for quite a way. I felt her skin and tried to comfort her but she was not interested. My facilitator offered her a tiny banana, she threw it. I wondered how many times before she had been taken away from something that she felt comfortable with. She would not look at me and arched her back away from me. height=225 width=173 align=right>

My facilitator asked the driver to sing out her name in order to comfort her. He did sing out "Heng Nith, Heng Nith". He said her name Heng meant "to profit" and Nith meant "pure and honest". He also said that it was a name usually given to a boy. I had read that Heng meant "Lucky". Brigitte was still screaming and very upset and probably felt no luck in her current situation.

In the car, we listened to a tape of some Hawaiian sounding music, it was very soothing and calming. After a way, Brigitte fell sound asleep. I started to look her over for every little detail. I don't remember seeing any sights on the way back because I was so preoccupied with her. I don't remember our exact steps except that we got back to Phnom Penh and somewhere I changed cars and went with a different driver to the Seven Seven store to get some water and snacks. My facilitator said they would check on me later at the Sunway.

I also went to Transpeed Union so that I could confirm my flight home. My only thoughts were on Brigitte. She had stopped crying and was awake now but was very quiet. She allowed me to hold her now but still had a very suspicious look on her face when I tryed to get her to look at me. She was very good while I was talking to the Thai Airlines representative at Transpeed. There were three other young men waiting and they watched Brigitte and me and I wondered what they might be thinking and saying. I was already concerned about people would think about us together.

I do not know what time it was but we got back to the Sunway. The Sunway people were very helpful, gracious and kind. Did I say remarkably helpful? They were. I was very, very tired and disoriented felt like they had taken me into their arms for comfort.

Part Three-Pringles at the Sunway and losing the kid in the night panic!

Upon getting into my room at the Sunway, the first thing I wanted more than anything was a shower. Patti was just down the hall from me and we both found out that we could not work the lights. There were no switches that I could see. Patti called the front desk and found that the bathroom light switch was on the bottom of the keyholder! And I thought I was going to half to take a shower in the dark. Patti and I talked a little compared kids and decided to get back together a little later. She was going to try to take a nap.

I felt very nervous at leaving Brigitte anywhere out of my sight, even if it was only the next room. She still did not want to look me directly in the eye and smiles were out of the question. I have not mentioned before but I had been nursing my Brett at home since birth. This had been a very big concern of mine, not wanting to look like Dolly Parton upon arrival in PP because of overflowing milk. I had to wake up a young man going to Pakistan on the flight over every three hours or so to go and pump in the plane restroom. Lots of mother's milk went away over the ocean.

height=226 width=150 align=left> I wondered if she would be interested in nursing and perhaps easing my discomfort. To make a long story short, my new angel took immediately to this and has continued ever since. No pumping necessary on the way home. It was very easy to feed her on the way back not having to worry about bottles on the plane. I wanted to call her "Barracuda Brigitte". Someone has nursed this child before. We were having our first nursing couple session, when my facilitator knocked on the door. She had come back to check on us and see if we needed anything.

I gushed to her that I was so excited that Brigitte was nursing. We had talked about breastfeeding on the way back from Kompong Speu and I found her to be an advocate. She asked if we needed anything and asked if I had seen Patti. She told me that she would call later to check again and that we would be going to the U.S. Embassy in the morning. I believe it was about 4 or 5 oclock PP time. The clock in the room had military time showing. I can read military time, but was so disoriented and jet lagged that I am not entirely sure of what time it was.

Next task was to get a shower for the both of us. We used the tub instead. Brigitte did not cry but did not seem too excited either. She endured without too much fuss. I changed her clothes and put a pink cotton dress on her. It was quite cool in the hotel room. I put a pair of socks on her and she had a fit. She wanted them off. align=right height=197 width=140>From the way she shook her feet to get them off, I don't think she had ever seen socks before. Her little feet were tough on the bottom and had callouses that only recently have disappeared five weeks later. I also tried some pink shoes I had brought for her and she gave me the strangest looks. "What is this lady trying to do to my feet?"

Next task, food! I was starved. I had brought a can of Pringles potato chips with me from Kzoo. I opened the can and offered some to Brigitte. The next moments will always stay in my memory. She looked at them and gave me the funniest look of disgust. What were these? height=193 width=150 align=left> What was this lady trying to do now? She crumbled them up on the bed. Five weeks later as I write this do you know what her favorite food is? and what we have to hide the can of? If you guessed Pringles, you win! Brigitte also loves to put on and take off her shoes now for fun! I did get some delicious rolls at the Seven Seven store and she ate two of these in fast order. They were good sized too.

I don't remember the next few minutes but somehow Patti, myself, Sheryl, who had come for her son, and Sheryl's mother got together in Patti's room to chat and decompress. We shared stories, giggled and talked for a couple of hours and then all went back to try and sleep.

I took Brigitte in bed with me. It was quite cold and I could not figure out how to turn off the air conditioning in the room. I completely conked out. I awoke some hours later, again not sure what time it was, it was still dark though, to find that my daughter was MISSING! I completely panicked. She was not in the bed with me. Where was she? What had happened? I cannot describe my feelings of distress and panick. How could I have let her out of my arms?

I found Brigitte laying on the floor next to the bed asleep. I have no idea how she got down there. She didn't cry out or make any sound. I felt like the most absolute worst parent there was. I thought I had lost her. Her feet were like ice. I picked her up and tucked her back in with me very close this time and tried to go back to sleep. She did but I could not. It was too frightening to think however irrationally that I had lost my new daughter. I was wide awake. I held her for a couple of hours very tight.

I then got up and started to rummage through my suitcase for my papers that I would need at the U.S. Embassy in the morning. I watched the Cambodian sun come up through the window. It was like winter in the hotel room and condensation was thick on the window from the steamy air outside.

Part Four- A sick Brigitte, the medical exam, the U.S. Embassy, and the Royal Palace.

I had to be at the U. S. Embassy in Phnom Penh at 8:00 a.m. I was so afraid that I might not wake up in time to be there that I didn't sleep much after waking up at 4 a.m. and scooping Brigitte off of the floor. Her eyes were sealed shut with yellow gunk and I knew from being a public school teacher that what she had was "pink eye". I had brought some antibiotic eye drops with me, but could not find them. I emptied my suitcase out more than once but they were not there. Brigitte's eyes looked terrible to me. I tried to clean them with a warm wash cloth and she bellowed and protested.

We also had to visit the International Office of Migration (IOM). I know little of this organization even now, but this is where the physicals were done for the Embassy visit. The doctor was French. He spoke English and tried to answer my questions but seemed to me to be very limited in what he could actually diagnose and treat. I say this only in that it is my opinion. I am used to the very excellent healthcare that I sometimes take for granted in the United States. I mentioned my concern for her eyes and now a seemingly increasingly nasal congestion concern.

He said he thought it was viral and I should not be concerned. I should wash her eyes out. He listened to her heart and lungs and, as they say, "that was that". He wrote some things on a paper, put it in an envelope and told me to take it to the Embassy. I later talked with Patty and she said she was very concerned because she asked if she could weight her daughter. The doctor had no scale in his office.

I do not mean to make any judgement when talking about this. It's just interesting to me because I am used to every western medical care possibility available and forget that these things are not available everywhere. The doctor said Brigitte seemed very healthy and despite the concerns I had, I agreed. I felt better at this point about her health.

The next stop was the U.S. Embassy. For some reason in my mind I had pictured some impressive large building. I can't say why, perhaps watching too many movies. The Embassy in Phnom Penh looks like every other building on the street next to it. There was an entryway where we had to pass through some sort of metal detector and then wait in a vestibule until another door was opened to go inside of the building proper.

My facilitator went with me and we both sat down at a desk with Bruce Howard. He had to take a minute to find my file. It seems there was also a "Kim Gibson" who was adopting from Cambodia that had a file in his office. He couldn't find mine for a few minutes and another panic set in. He did find it and I was amazed to see my original I 600-A form that I had sent to Detroit INS so long ago, there in his hand. The other side of the world is closer than I think.

Mr. Howard explained every document, it's purpose and why I was signing. He also took a lot of time explaining the nature of Brigitte's Cambodian passport, her Cambodian citizenship rights, how to keep them and extend her passport life. I'm not sure that I will remember everything he said but still I thought it was very kind of him to take this time to explain to me and answer my questions.

I had Brigitte on my lap and was spending as much time listening to his explanations as I was holding and stroking her. my facilitator helped me with the affidavit of support form and filled in a few things I had left blank because of not being sure what to put.

He also gave me some paperwork with an address where I could get more information on updating her Cambodian citizenship and passport. He also explained in detail how to go about the U.S. citizenship process. Lots of information was exchanged in this visit. I did not expect this personal exchange but was very grateful to have had it.

Then the time came to pay for the Visa. There were two Cambodian people in the office. They took my U.S. dollars and started examining each one. After a few minutes one twenty dollar bill was returned to me because of a small tear on a corner. I had only brought enough money for the visit with me so I looked at my facilitator. She gave me a twenty-dollar bill of her own to replace the torn one. I replaced her loaned one with one of my own later, but again leaned on her help greatly. Make sure your dollars are crisp. I had mine in a money belt around my waist and in the heat some had become a little soggy with sweat.

Everything was signed, I got a receipt, I said my thank yous and we went out into the vestibule. I was told that Brigitte's U.S. Visa would be ready in a few hours, and would be brought it to the hotel later. I was then going to see some sights in Phnom Penh.

We changed cars and I set off. Brigitte was very quiet and went to sleep in my arms in the car quickly. I wish I could say that I was excited about seeing Phnom Penh but I was actually becoming more and more concerned about Brigitte. She was too quiet. My driver asked me where I wanted to go. I was so unsure of what to do next. So I asked him to decide what he thought I might like to see.

He said I must see the Royal Palace. From my memory it was not far from the Sunway Hotel. height=231 width=140 ALT="The Royal Palace" align=right>Very ancient, impressive and intricate architecture surrounded by a wall. I know very little about this place, having only seen pictures of it in a Cambodian travel book before I left to go to Phnom Penh. I got out of the car, and the driver said he would wait for me outside.

There was a gift shop inside the main entrance that caught my eye. I went in and went right to a small box that had some chiming balls in it. I asked if they could be held until I came back from seeing the Royal Palace. They only cost five dollars.

height=200 width=140 ALT="The Royal Palace" align=left> It cost only two U.S. dollars to get into the Royal Palace. I still look at the pictures I took in amazement. It seemed like I had been transported to a different world. Brigitte was asleep in my arms as I walked around the gardens and buildings inside the complex. I was taking pictures when someone came up to me and said not to. I did not mean to do anything I was not supposed to. I left my camera with him when we entered the main building. I also was required to take off my shoes. I had on the smelliest and now muddiest Reeboks from the mid morning Cambodian rain showers. I thought to myself how the palm trees reminded me of Florida and Arizona in the U.S. but the humidity and heat was somehow unlike both of these places.

Back | Journey to Brigitte Part 2

Part 4, continued.

Brigitte was still asleep in my arms. The feel of her weight in my arms reminded me of my Brett, Chad and Kristin. Although I was in a place I should be enjoying and exploring and appreciating and experiencing, I was thinking of my children at home.

It was a strong feeling as I entered the main temple at the Royal Palace. There were artifacts in glass cases lining the sides of the building. Amazing, amazing things my eyes will perhaps never see again. I cannot accurately describe how I felt at viewing these things. Perhaps that more people should be able to see them. And how I wanted my daughter to see them, even though she was fast asleep becoming sicker and probably wasn't terribly interested at the time. I felt she would want to know about these things later in life.

There was someone praying before a statue that had incense burning in front of it. Even now as I write this I am afraid I will state or quote the wrong thing. I had no background knowledge of Cambodia to fall back upon to understand what I was seeing. I teach first grade reading and know that background knowledge is so important to young children in order to understand what they are reading and comprehending. I felt very much like a young child with no background knowledge as to where I was or what I was seeing. I am going to make it a task to learn as much as I can over the next several years about this.

Brigitte and I went back to the gift shop to get the chiming balls. They were wrapped up in a wicker basket lined with Cambodian newspaper. Not like the plastic grocery bags here. I would have liked to get several other things but was afraid I could not carry them home.

The driver was waiting outside the gates for us. We got in and drove around Phnom Penh. I tried to take some pictures out of the car window. To try and explain the traffic conditions is impossible. I have this blurry picture that does not do any justice. People on cyclos, bicycles, cars were everywhere and seemingly in the middle of the road. I saw only one or perhaps two stoplights in the whole of Phnom Penh.

Part Five ~ The National Museum, Phnom Penh, Cambodia and Home

Next, we went to the National Museum. It is very close to the Royal Palace. The front of the building is well landscaped and has a statue of an Elephant in front.

I had read about this place in our hometown newspaper. It was home to a rare colony of bats that lived in the ceilings and rafters. There was controversy considering the bat droppings that were destroying the artifacts inside. The odor of their urine was very strong in the building, even despite the fact that the building was open to the outside. We bought a papier-mâché mask of a Khmer god. It hangs on my wall and frightened Brett for some time after I brought it home.

Brigitte was now asleep in my arms. As we came to the corner and I got out, street merchant showed me hammocks in bright colors for sale. I declined as I did not want to disturb Brigitte. I would remember this street merchant for quite some time after coming home as Brigitte had much difficulty sleeping at night.

I felt as if this woman was “warning” me of what was to come and I should have taken the time to buy the hammock from her. As it turned out, a good friend, Mary Jo went to Cambodia in July to adopt her son Lon and she bought a hammock for me.

Brigitte only slept in the hammock a few nights and went back to preferring my arm for sleeping for quite some time after that. I’m still very glad I have the hammock; it hangs in our sleeping room.

Next we went to a jewelry store in Phnom Penh. A store clerk asked if she could hold Brigitte. As silly as it sounds, it was an anxious moment for me, I did not want to let her out of my arms. I could hardly look at the jewelry, but I did buy a jade promise bracelet and a silver ankle bracelet for Brigitte. The store clerk told my driver in Khmer that Brigitte felt warm and feverish. I beckoned to have her back.

My thoughts now were only with Brigitte, and I asked that we go back to the Sunway. My facilitator was there with Brigitte’s visa and we talked about her illness. She asked me if I wanted to see a doctor in Phnom Penh but I said that I would rather see if I could change my return flight and go home sooner. She had the driver take me to another building in the downtown area, Transpeed Union, where Thai Airlines had an office. The Fourth of July weekend was approaching and flights were booked up for the weekend. I could go if I wanted to go the next day. I decided to do this. Brigitte’s eyes were sticky and when she awoke from sleep they would be stuck shut, I knew she had conjunctivitis, something very treatable at home.

The doctor at the IOM had told me that these kinds of ailments were not treated in Cambodia as resources were scarce. So we went back to the hotel and packed our belongings and made final arrangements to leave and go home. I was disappointed at leaving sooner than planned, anxious to get back home to see my other children and even more anxious to get Brigitte to a doctor. I emailed Kristin from the Sunway Hotel business center and asked her to make a doctor’s appointment with our family pediatrician as soon as possible. She managed to arrange this for an hour after we arrived home! I was a ball of anxious feelings and concerns.

We said good-bye to my facilitator and checked out of the hotel. My driver took me to the airport. He gave me his card and asked that I stay in touch. I thanked him for all of his help. He told me he could not go into the airport so I made it through the throngs of people with Brigitte by myself. He told me there would be no airport tax for Brigitte but the guard at the gate did ask for $15, I just gave it to him and we passed into the waiting area.

Tears came to my eyes as the plane took off. Others were smiling but somehow I was sad. I felt as if I didn’t know when Brigitte would be coming back and leaving was a great step for her. I was tired, confused and worried about her temperature and the long trip home. The trip on Thai airlines was wonderful. Brigitte seemed very pleased when she was awake at the abundance of food; she even tried to snatch a few things from the flight attendants aisle cart. She slept most of the way home.

There were only three families with international children so we passed through LAX immigration easily although Brigitte did unload in her diaper just as our turn at the counter arrived.

I bought some postcards at the airport before leaving. One of my largest regrets on this trip is that I did not take more photographs. These are a few of what I did take.

When Brigitte and I go back we will make up for this by taking lots of pictures.

Back

The Trip to China

I left Kalamazoo on Wednesday July 28th at 5:45 P.M. flying on
American Airlines. The commuter plane to Detroit was small,
I was in the back row (squished) in the corner. I wondered how I
would ever be able to return on a flight like this with a
daughter on my lap? My carryon would not even fit under the
seat, the stewardess had to take it up front.

I was surprised to see Beanie Babies in the Detroit Airport
gift shops. While passing the time to meet Brooke for the last
few months, I had been in pursuit of the Beanie Baby Bears! I
wanted to pick up the Ty Signature and Hope Bear which I saw but
didn't fearing not having room in my suitcase if I did. How
silly to take a Beanie Baby Bear to China and back!

The flight to LAX was a little roomier and uneventful. I found
my way to the China Southern/Delta check-in place. I was
wearing my Red Thread bracelet (thanks Lisa Trosien!) and hoping
to spot some other APC'er's waiting for the plane. Shortly
after an announcement was made of a gate change and everyone
moved to another gate.

The plane was to leave at 12:40 a.m. Los Angeles time. At
about 10:30 an announcement was made of a boarding delay. The
plane would not be boarding until 3:40 a.m. Audible groans were
heard from waiting passengers. I was getting very tired by
now. Waiting passengers started to visit with each other and I
did find several other fellow adopters including a large group of
families going with the Children's Home Society of Minnesota.

Several people stretched out on the LAX airport floor. At
about 3:00 a.m. another delay was announced stating that bad
weather was the cause and we would not be boarding until 6:00
a.m. At this time I tried to call Kristin my daughter at home so
that she could get word to John Harrah that my arrival would now
be delayed for certain. However Kristin was sleeping at 3
a.m.!

I called and left a message on the answering machine. My
wonderful oldest daughter emailed John Harrah and he got a
message to Sha Sha, my facilitator about the change in my arrival
time. Amazing to be able to do this! The world is truly
becoming smaller.

The plane finally boarded at about 6:45 a.m. It was daylight
and almost 8 o'clock before the large China Southern Airplane
took off. I was in the coach section and worried about how much
room I would have. I was lucky to be in a row of three seats
alone. After a meal, I was glad that the flight attendants
insisted that lights go out and windows go down to allow us to
sleep. I'd been awake over twenty-four hours by now. What a way
to start my trip!

I don't remember a lot of the flight. I was too tired. There
were some unusual Chinese movies I thought. I remember watching
one about a man and a woman in China whose spouses were away in
the United States. They moved in with each other and
subsequently fell in love. Lots of strange dubbed dialogue. I
watched the simulated airplane charting our progress over the
trip more than anything else, whenever I did wake.

About 2 hours to arrival time, the attendants turned on the
cabin lights and began preparing for breakfast. I started to
become excited and nervous. Panic about what I was doing set in
for an hour or so. Seeing the palm trees and hills when the
plane set down in Guangzhou did little to alleviate my feelings
of fear. I did hum the theme to Disney's Mulan as the plane was
landing, it seemed appropriate to me.

After deplaning, a shuttle bus took us to Chinese Customs. It
was a series of lines and checkpoints. An older Chinese
gentleman saw my look of confusion and motioned me to follow him.
He was from San Francisco and was visiting his family in
Guangzhou. He spoke English so I began to feel safe. He told me
exactly what was happening at each checkpoint and what to do.

I made it through all the stops and got my luggage. I was
greatly relieved when I went out into the waiting area of the
airport and saw my name in large letters on a handwritten sign in
the window of the White Swan Hotel desk. I went to the window
and was told that the shuttle bus would take me to the hotel in a
few moments.

My friends from CHSM were in line to make another flight
connection. I would not see them until about ten days later in
the White Swan Hotel lobby when I was leaving and they were
arriving for their consulate visit.

The streets of Guangzhou were very crowded and busy.
Something silly that stays in my memory is of all the clothing,
especially underwear, I saw hanging out of front windows to dry.
My Western way of thinking was that the underwear should have
been hung out the back window! Tired, silly, cross-cultural
thoughts!

I checked in at the White Swan and already had a message from
Sha Sha to go to my room and wait for her to call me. I was
beyond tired and now very excited. John Harrah had told me that
he thought the babies would be brought to the Hotel. Now I
was wondering if Sha Sha had Brooke.

I was in room 1406 with a beautiful view of the Pearl River.
There was a baby crib waiting. It was all beginning to seem
real. Sha Sha arrived about an hour later, (no baby). She
explained that the two other families in my group had already
arrived and had been to the Guangdong Provincial Offices that
morning and completed their Province Capital paperwork. I had
missed this because of the plane delay.

Sha Sha explained that the babies were coming to Maoming to
meet us on Sunday (it was Friday). It would be too hard on them
to make the seven-hour train ride to Guangzhou and then have to
go back to Maoming to do the Passport Notary procedures and then
back to Guangzhou again. That would mean three long trips for
the babies. I was disappointed but understood.

It was already 11:00 a.m. Guangzhou time. I was supposed to
have arrived at 6 a.m. She would go with me to the same office
that afternoon to complete the Provincial requirements. She
suggested that we have lunch and offered to change some money
into Yuan for me. Sha Sha was very lovely and much younger than
I had thought she would be in my mind's eye. We met on the lower
level of the White Swan hotel, she was staying in the Victory
Hotel, she said it was much less expensive! We walked to a
restaurant down the street from the White Swan to have lunch.

I don't remember much, I was feeling very lightheaded from the
overnight in Los Angeles and the plane ride but we chatted about
myself, the other families, Myra and Tom Holt, Shari Bell and her
brother Randy who was accompanying her.

Sha Sha said we would take care of the Provincial paperwork
that afternoon and then I could go back to the hotel and rest.
After lunch we took a taxi to a place in Guangzhou. I had seen
pictures of this office on other adopters web pages. I filled
out and signed some papers. I swore to love and never abandon or
abuse my daughter. I had not seen her yet. I was pleasantly
surprised to see a new picture of her on the adoption papers that
had her red footprint on it. This was kept at the Guangdong
office.

Sha Sha took me back to the hotel and said she would call me
later after she had purchased the train tickets to Maoming.
yra Holt introduced herself that afternoon in the hotel. We had written to each other in the wait between referral and travel
but had not met yet. The Holts were meeting their daughter that
I would find out later was a foster sister to Brooke and also
from Dianbai. Shari Bell (whose baby was from Gaozhou)
telephoned and said everyone was getting together for dinner with
Sha Sha at six. Both Myra and Tom Holt and Shari Bell were with
Laura Cecere's agency China Seas. Harrah Family Services and
China Seas both use Henry Jia as their in country facilitator.
So after talking to them, I caught a small nap.

At dinner at the same restaurant we all decided that we would
do some sightseeing in Guangzhou the next day (Saturday) and
then catch the 10:30 a.m. train from Guangzhou to Maoming Sunday
Morning.

Throughout our time in China Sha Sha took us to some very nice
restaurants, and was very gracious about ordering for us and
helping us to experiment and learn about Chinese food. Sha Sha
is from Beijing and she explained that the food there is
different than in Guangzhou. She took time to explain some
things about Cantonese foods and eating. She showed us to pour
some tea into a porcelain bowl and then "wash" our chopsticks in
the tea. The servers then took the tea and poured it onto their
serving trays and took it away! I learned much from her about
the Cantonese.

I went back to the hotel and I think collapsed. We were
meeting in the morning and going to go to Yuexiu Park and the
Temple of the Six Banyan Trees. We would also explore some of
downtown Guangzhou proper (not Shamian Island) and visit the Jade
Factory if there was time.

On Saturday, Sha Sha got us two taxis and took us to Yuexiu
Park. I've read that it's Guangzhou's answer to NYC's Central
Park. Lots of people were in the park, it was full of activity.
We climbed the Zhenhai Tower and saw the Guangzhou Museum.
There were lots of historical artifacts there and I learned
something of the history of Guangzhou.

Sha Sha told us the story of the "Five Rams" Statue. I saw a
group of people playing a game with a small ball that they tossed
and bounced to each other. There were lots of tropical plants
growing that fascinated me as I love to garden and have several
of the plants in my home that I saw growing in the ground in this
park!

The Temple of the Six Banyan trees was even more fascinating.
There are three brass statues of Buddha, Past, Present and
Future. They are 18 meters high and weigh five tons. There is
also a statue of the Goddess of Mercy. Sha Sha said we could
say a prayer for our daughters there and at the statue of Buddha
of the Future.

She said that women would often pray to the Goddess when they
wanted to have a child. I so wanted to take a picture of the
statues, they were breathtaking. I did not as their were many
worshippers there and I thought it would be wrong. The smell of
incense was overpowering.

Sha Sha then asked if we wanted to visit the Jade Factory or
the Sun Yat-Sen Memorial. There would not be time for both.
We chose to go to the Jade Factory and decided that we could see
the Sun Yat-Sen Memorial after we came back from Maoming before
our consulate appointment.

The Jade Factory was somewhere in downtown Guangzhou. The
sheer number of people on the streets overcame me a bit. No one
was intimidating or rude but there was jostling and bumping and
closeness as we walked down the street to the narrow alley that
the Jade Factory was located in. The boldest walked first!

The Jade Factory was just closing, it was Saturday and they
were closing early, but they let us come in as see what they had
for sale, we did not get to see any jade pieces being processed.
I bought some jade chopsticks and a Goddess of Mercy pendant
for all of my daughters.

After this we went back to the hotel to rest a bit before
dinner. Sha Sha took us to another restaurant on Shamian Island.
She said there were some very good places to eat outside of the
hotel that were not as expensive as the hotel. I'm very glad she
offered to escort us. I probably would not have gone to these
places without her. We discussed the train ride that we would
make tomorrow. We would get to the station very early, as it
would be crowded and busy.

Boy was it crowded. Outside the station was a sea of waiting
people. Sha Sha went in while we took pictures outside. We
then went in to a waiting room that was air-conditioned and very
comfortable. Some children spotted us right away and came
over to try their English on us. One girl told us she was nine
and had learned her english in school. We took Randy's (Shari's
brother) picture with them. They were thrilled. We later found
out that they would be on the same train to Maoming as we would.
Sha Sha found out from them that they were visiting relatives in
Maoming. They chatted with us for the duration of the train
ride.

I was originally nervous about the train ride. I looked on
the map and Maoming did not seem far enough for a seven-hour
train ride that I was told about. But I'm very glad I did do the
train ride. We really got to see rural China. There are not
many good roads in this area of China. There is some lovely
scenery. It was very hilly at times and there were many
landscaped rice fields that were just awesome to see.

The train goes at a leisurely pace (about 50 kilometers per
hour, seemed like 60/70 miles an hour?) and stops every so often.
When the train stopped in Yangchun, I remember reading Lisa
McClure's stories of her trip there to meet Lara at the beginning
of my interest in China adoption! I couldn't believe I was in
the same place as she.

It was clean although the bathroom was not very nice. The
bathrooms are locked at stops so you can imagine where they
deposit the stuff! The seats were roomy, it was air-conditioned
and smooth. And bottled water (I didn't want to drink much so
as to avoid the bathroom!) and snacks were sold on the train.

One great memory of my trip is the time I got to spend
chatting with Sha Sha. We sat next to each other on the ride.
We talked about her job, my job, (I'm a teacher), schools in
China, my son's first car, Sha Sha's first bike and many other
things! She was amazed that my 19-year-old son, Chad, could save
enough money to buy his own car. She told me about her efforts
to get her first bike. Our conversations will stay with me for a
long while. She is an amazing woman.

The train arrived in Maoming at about 5:30 ahead of schedule.
We checked into the Maoming Building Hotel. I took a picture
of a sign on the nightstand. It said, "Be Careful of Fire-Don't
smoke on the bed-you will pay for it if eamaged!" (Spelling is
theirs!)

Sha Sha called the orphanage and was told that the babies
would be brought at about dinnertime, perhaps in an hour or so.
She did not know if Shari's baby from Gaozhou would be brought
that night or the next morning. Shari was disappointed. We got
ready to go to dinner on the second floor of the hotel. I was
not very interested in eating nor was anyone else. We knew the
babies would be coming soon.

We were seated at a large round table with a glass rotating
serving table. A Chinese Lazy Susan? The hotel attendants kept
bringing more and more food. Sha Sha was trying to keep us
interested in the food without much luck. We were playing with
cameras and getting them ready for pictures.

Suddenly a man and woman with a baby appeared at the doorway.
Everyone's breath stopped. It was Shari's Rose (Pan Quan, ten
months old from Gaozhou) and her nanny and the Gaozhou Orphanage
director! Shari had shown me her referral picture. The baby in
the picture was extremely chubby looking. This baby was very
small and petite!

Shari had doubted her baby's true age because she looked so
large in the picture. We had not expected Shari's baby to come
at all tonight. It was a wonderful surprise and I'm glad because
I got to listen to all the questions Shari asked of the orphanage
director and the nanny. Kind of like a practice run for me?

Rose bounced on her nanny's lap and rocked and grabbed at
things on the table. The nanny was very somber faced. Our
happiness was met with some sadness on her part I'm sure. Shortly
thereafter the Dianbai Orphanage director arrived with two
babies, my Brooke (Guo Xiao Qian) and the Holts' baby Ruby (Guo
Xiao Yi). Ruby and Brooke are about 3 weeks apart in age.
Brooke's birthdate is 11/4/97 and Ruby's is 11/27/97. All
thought of eating anything was gone.

Brooke had on a Navy blue and yellow striped shorts outfit
that to me looked like boys clothing. Her hair was sticking
straight up. Her ears were pointy and I thought she definitely
had a "Star Trek Vulcan" look about her. She looked apprehensive
in the doorway on the arm of this man who held two babies.

Ruby had a look of absolute panic on her face. Brooke had
thrown up on herself and the orphanage director's pant leg. My
first act was to run up to my room to get a change of clothes for
her. When I came back down, Ruby had gone to sleep on her
new dad's arm and Brooke was handed to me to change her clothes.
I brought down two outfits not knowing which would exactly fit
her or be okay. I put a yellow summer dress on her.

The next little bit of time is blurry to me . After the long
train ride, the excitement, anticipation and the worries about
asking the right questions of the caretakers drained me. Brooke
was clearly unhappy and did not want to come to me. We did ask a
few questions about what to feed the babies and what their sleep
patterns were. We were told that the babies were awakened at
11:00 P.M. to use the potty! Mr. Lin Qing, the director showed
me how Brooke could drink tea from a small cup.

It was getting late, it was already dark, I don't know what
time it was and we were told that the orphanage directors would
return in the morning to answer more questions. Also in the
morning we would go to the Notaries office in Maoming and apply
for the baby's passports. I took Brooke up to my room.

Back | Journey to Brooke Part 2

The Trip to China, continued~

Brooke was very quiet at first. She watched me but did not
initiate any interaction. I think she was overwhelmed by what
had happened to her. I was told that she had been in foster care
since she was two months old. The foster mom had kids of her
own and was in her forties.

The Holt's baby Ruby was also with the same foster mom. I
found this strange, as the two girls did not interact with each
other the whole time we were in China. We went to visit the
Holts in the room next to us. Ruby had awoken and found herself
in a strange room with two new parents. I can only imagine what
she was thinking.

It was late so we all went to bed. Brooke went to sleep
almost instantly in the crib that was placed in the room. It was
painted blue metal. She slept all night. In the morning Myra
knocked on my door to ask how I was doing. She was very worried
about Ruby. She had not eaten anything. She had a terrible
cough, runny nose and was running a temperature. Brooke did not
have a cold.

We got ready for breakfast and met Sha Sha in the hotel
restaurant. As you walked into the restaurant you could see fish
tanks with fish, turtles and eel in them. I wondered if this was
a live "menu"? Of the three babies, Brooke seemed to be the
healthiest, the other two had coughs and colds and were not
eating well. Brooke did eat several things at breakfast. No
smiles or interaction though and she would not walk.

We walked around the corner from the Maoming Building Hotel
about a block to the Notary Office. There we were given papers
to look at and see if they were correct. My first name Kathryn
was spelled "Kathryu". The Notary fixed it by hand. Sha Sha
combed each document carefully. She said that if there were any
mistakes we would have to come back to Maoming to fix them so
better to check them now.

The papers were bound in a "book" like arrangement. Each had
an English translation to go with it. Brooke's abandonment
certificate said that she had been found at the gate of the city
of Poxin when she was one day old. (I have never been able to
locate this place on any map it must be small.) She was taken to
the Dianbai City Police the next day to the Dianbai Welfare
Institute.

We signed some more papers, gave our gifts and went outside to
take some pictures. The Notaries did not acknowledge receiving
the gifts. While we were waiting for everything to be finished
several people in the street stopped to look at us. One mom had
a little boy with her. She waved to us and motioned to her son
to do so also. I took his picture. I wondered what the mom was
saying to her son.

We then went back to the hotel. We would have to wait several
hours for the baby's Chinese passports. Sha Sha was busy talking
with some taxi drivers. We were told again to look over the
paperwork for any mistakes. We sat in the hotel lobby. Sha Sha
asked us what we would like to do that day. We were all more
interested in our babies at this time than in sightseeing.

Sha Sha told us that she had talked to the taxi drivers about
taking us to the beach near Dianbai on the South China Sea. They
take us there to a resort called the "First Beach in China". We
all decided to go. It was about 30 kilometers from Maoming. It
turned out to be a very nice, clean beach with a resort on the
shore. Sha Sha told us that Jiang Zemin had vacationed there but
perhaps in a private spot!

We must have been great entertainment for the locals as they
surrounded us right away when we came to the beach. They set
up an umbrella for us and brought us chairs and a table. Drinks,
Coke and Budweiser were offered. One is not as far away from
home as they think!

We ventured out into the water a little it was very warm.
Brooke did not like to be set down in it. So I came back and sat
down under the umbrella. Some fishermen were pulling in long
nets. Sha Sha told us we could go over and pick something out
to have cooked if we wanted. She also was very excited about the
beach. She told us that she had never seen the sea. She
called her boyfriend in Beijing on her Cell phone from the beach.
She waded out into the water and looked like a little girl.
Randy bought a bathing suit for 30 yuan on the beach. He went
swimming while the rest of us stayed with the kids.

A crab fisherman showed us her crabs alive in a basket. Sha
Sha picked a couple out and they were cooked for us. I did have
some reluctant thoughts about eating the crabmeat not wanting to
get sick in China but I did have some. I felt it was time to be
a little adventurous!

Some vendors saw us and showed us their pearls and shells and
everything they had. I bought a cultured pearl necklace for
each of my daughters. I also got a shell that was painted with
Chinese characters that said (according to Sha Sha), "First Beach
in China". The shell had a tiger on it, which is my Chinese
birth sign animal. I grabbed a handful of shells from the beach
to bring back. I thought later that perhaps this might have been
a taboo at U.S. Customs. Please don't tell them I did this.

After a couple of hours it was time to go back to Maoming. A
rainstorm started just as we were leaving, it poured on our way
back to the hotel. Sha Sha told us to go back to our rooms that
she would go after the passports. The orphanage directors were
also going to meet with us for one last time.

She returned with the passports and told us to meet her in her
room shortly, the director's would be there. We asked our last
questions, how to say "I love you" was one I remembered getting
an answer for. The men seemed to know very little about the
babies. They said the foster moms spoke a different dialect and
so they didn't know the answers to several of our questions.
It was a little disheartening to have so little information on my
daughter. We gave them our gifts and they left.

Sha Sha then told us to decide if we wanted to stay another
night or if we wanted to leave that evening and catch the sleeper
train back to Guangzhou. We chose to leave that night. The
train would leave at 10:30. We would get to the Train Station at
about 9:00P.M.

She went to get the train tickets. So we explored the store
next to the hotel. We bought some Chinese formula for the
babies, some sippy cups, some Diet Coke and snacks. The store
had quite a few baby supplies. We then went back to the hotel to
pack for our departure.

After dinner in the hotel restaurant, Shari, Rose, Randy,
Brooke and I walked a little around the streets by the hotel.
There was a holiday that night (August 1) and lots of people were
in the streets after dark. We walked to a lighted fountain about
a block from the hotel. Many children and people were playing by
the fountain and watching the colored lights. Many people stared
at us but were friendly. I wondered what they were thinking of
us.

The waiting room at the Maoming train station had beautiful
carved ebony furniture. You'd never see furniture like this in a
train station in the states. We got on the train at about 10:00
P.M. It was like something out of a 1930'' movie. A table with
a tablecloth and lace curtains. There was a thermos of hot water
in each berth. A pillow with a towel covering that had a picture
of a train on it. Brooke and I curled up on the bottom bunk,
Myra and Ruby were across from me and Randy and Tom were on the
top.

The train stopped several times, once very quickly and it
sounded like the train had hit something on the tracks as this
time it was not stopped at a station. We made it to Guangzhou at
about 5 in the morning. Brooke slept through all of this. The
train station in Guangzhou again was a literal sea of people.
People were sleeping on newspapers on the ground.

We had to wade our way through a parking lot of taxis to get
to one that would be able to drive away. When the taxi was slow
at leaving, Sha Sha had us all get out and walk under a viaduct,
luggage, babies and all to the other side of the street and flag
down two more taxis that could get us out of the train station
traffic jam. Did I say yet that she is amazing?

She got us back to the White Swan when it was dark and quiet.
The front desk was not fully staffed but they did manage to get
us rooms at the early hour. This time our rooms faced Shamian
Island. Shari and Randy seemed upset and wanted river view
rooms but I thought it was neat to see the people on the streets
and rooftops.

Sha Sha told us to get some sleep and that we would do the
baby physicals and visa pictures that morning. I again crashed
on the very hard beds at the White Swan and Brooke went right to
sleep in the crib.

After a couple of hours of sleep we again met on the main
floor of the White Swan to go for the medical exam. The medical
exam was done at the "Center of Health Service for International
Traveller of Guangzhou, Health and Quarantine of the People's
Republic of China". That is what it said (spelling is theirs) on
the sign. It was within walking distance of the White Swan.

It was very hot that day. When we walked past the open doors
of the Victory Hotel, I could feel the air-conditioned streaming
outside. I remember the Guangzhou Museum windows and doors were
also was open to the outside. There were large air-
conditioning units that poured cool air out. I wondered how
expensive this must be? The units did not look like anything I
had ever seen in the States.

At the medical exam there were many people waiting. Our
babies were weighed (with their clothes on) and measured. There
was one examiner for her eyes, ears and mouth and another for her
stomach and heart and lungs. Sha Sha led us through each stop
and handled most of the paperwork. I remember this was the first
time I put my name as mother on the application and our address
was the White Swan. Cool.

The results of the exam were placed in a sealed envelope. Sha
Sha told us not to open the envelope. We would have to surrender
it at the Visa appointment tomorrow at the U.S. Consulate. We
then walked back to the White Swan area and had pictures taken at
the photo shop across the street. I wanted to get a passport
doll that I saw but didn't again fearing not enough room in my
suitcase. Wish I had, they were much cheaper there!

Brooke screamed through the picture taking. We were all very
tired from the night train ride and decided to go back to the
hotel and sleep. We would meet later in the day for dinner. We
scrapped plans to go to the Sun Yat-Sen Memorial. I wish we
would have gone, but at the time our thoughts were on our babies
and sleep.

Brooke slept most of the afternoon. It was at about this time
that I began to worry a little about her. She was grief-stricken. She clung to me and would not go to anyone else.
Sha Sha tried to speak to her in Chinese. I think she understood
some but did not respond to her. She would not walk and when I
put her down, she flopped on her bottom and screamed until I
picked her up again. She insisted on having a bottle in her
mouth at all times.

I saw from her first scream in Maoming that her teeth were in
very poor shape. I suspected that the bottle was the reason.
Her top teeth were terrible but the bottom teeth were fine.
Shari had given me a pacifier in Maoming but Brooke would not
take it. For every picture we took, I would pry the bottle out
of her mouth and she would scream.

Brooke also screamed EVERY time we got into the elevator. The
mirrored walls frightened her. The White Swan floor attendants
would give me looks of "what can I do to help" each time we got
on or off the elevator. I would have taken the stairs after a
couple of days of this but we were now on the 15th floor. Brooke
was eating and sleeping well, though. The Holt's baby Ruby was
very talkative and walking everywhere. However Ruby would not
eat and they were becoming frantic. She also was still running a
temperature and had a very bad cold. Myra and Tom took Ruby to
the Clinic on the third floor of the White Swan and got some
decongestant medicine for her. Ruby would become very upset in
the restaurants.

Shari's baby Rose had not had a bowel movement and Shari was
concerned. She was also sleeping very fitfully. We all had
our respective concerns. Sha Sha was so helpful with the babies
too. She would carry one when we needed help and offered to feed
them so that we could eat. Have I said yet just how amazing and
gracious and helpful Sha Sha was? :-)

Brooke's demeanor would have concerned me more if I had not
been through this before with my Brigitte adopted from Cambodia.
Sha Sha was a little concerned that she would not walk but I
remember Brigitte at two years not walking very sturdily and
dismissed this. It was very hard to never see her smile or show
any pleasure and only dismay, panic and frustration. But I knew
somehow that this was good. She was very frightened and was
grieving.

I explored the White Swan a little more that day. This hotel
is like a small city in itself. You can get almost anything you
want or need there and not have to leave it if you choose to do
so. I emailed home to Kristin in the business center like I had
been doing everyday. The people in the business center were very
kind and helpful. Once I hit a wrong key and got some Chinese
icons on the computer and they helped me. I felt kind of silly.

One thing Brooke was doing very well was eating. I was amazed
at how much she ate at the White Swan breakfast buffet. She
loved the Congee and would eat two bowls at a sitting. She liked
the scrambled eggs, the bacon, the ham, the pineapple, the
peaches, the fried potatoes, and the "everything". She would
try anything. When she was full though she would seal her lips
and shake her head.

About this time Brooke also decided that the stroller I had
brought was not a too bad way of traveling. I had taken it to
Maoming but she would not ride in it. She screamed when I tried
to put her in it. Randy had graciously helped me to carry it. I
felt guilty about that. But now she was riding with ease as we
wheeled around the hotel and Shamian Island. The sidewalks on
the island were a little bumpy but I'm glad that I brought the
stroller. I did not bring one to Phnom Penh when I met Brigitte
and had learned that 19 pounds gets very heavy after you carry it
around awhile.

That night we again met for dinner at another restaurant on
Shamian Island with Sha Sha. Brooke loved the Tofu. I tried the
roasted Pigeon (tasted like chicken), Sha Sha fed Rose some baby
cereal and Shari worried, Rose still had not produced the
number #2, did I mention that she is a first time mom? I gave
everyone the disposable baby bibs I had read about on the APC
list and everyone had a great time except perhaps Ruby who still
would not eat anything and was very fussy, wanting to sit on
her mom, Myra's lap and not in the highchair. This dinner is
one of my favorite memories of us all together. In a little way
I felt that for a few moments we were a family sharing not only a
dinner but also an experience.

We all agreed to meet in the morning at nine o'clock to go
over our consulate paperwork by the Red Couches in the White
Swan. I enjoyed looking out at the rooftops of Shamian Island
that night. For the first night I did not sleep out of
exhaustion and actually got up early before Brooke. It was fun
to watch the people out on the streets very early at about 5:30
a.m.

Sha Sha met us in the morning and went over each one of our
paperwork and documents. She helped us to fill in whatever we
were unsure of. We then walked the block along side of the White
Swan Hotel to the U.S. Embassy. There were many Chinese people
waiting outside. Our appointment was at 10:30 a.m. We entered
through the gate and waited in the doorway. There were pictures
of Bill Clinton and Al Gore. It was very different than the U.S.
Consulate that I had been to in Phnom Penh.

Randy took some pictures that we later found was not okay. He
also snapped one of Rose in the Interview room. We all gasped
when he did this and Shari took the camera away. No one said
anything, but we all knew that pictures were not allowed inside
the consulate except Randy. I understand that now they will not
even let you take cameras inside the building.

There were many families and children inside the interview
room. There was a crib and toys for the kids. At the end of the
room was a table where four people were seated. When it was my
turn I found out that they would go over my documents to make
sure everything was in order before the interview. A lady named
Mary interviewed me. She looked over everything and asked me to
swear that it was correct and true. She asked me if the child I
had received was the one I had been referred and was I happy with
her?

She was interrupted by a phone call. Seems as some adopters
had shown up without appointments. When she came back she
explained to me that these people had appointments in July (it
was August) and had not shown in July. Their agency had not
informed them of the correct date. I did hear some discussion
about the agency name. She said they would manage to work
them into today's schedule.

She took one copy of my papers that I had received in Maoming
(the Maoming notaries gave us three copies), Brooke's medical
exam envelope, the visa application, the I 600, the orphan
investigation form, my income tax copies, one copy of my
paycheck stub and the I-864. This was all put together with my
I-600A that had been sent over before. She told me that the
immigrant visa for Brooke would be ready the next day at 3
o'clock. And that was that. If everything were okay with the
papers and forms, Brooke would be okay to go home with me on
Friday. What a feeling! Sha Sha would go back at 1 o'clock to
pay for the visas.

Back | Journey to Brooke Part 3

dec 25 santababy

2007-12-25T21:10:00.001-05:00

dec 25 santababy f
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Where did I leave my hat? My hat? Dang, I worked so very hard today. All those chimneys and bags of toys, they were heavy and the stacks were dirty.

Almost forgot the deviled eggs. Did forget the stuffing. It's getting so hard to be perfect but I was told today that I am getting better.

Small complements.

Now where is that dang hat?

dec 18 three more

2007-12-21T21:31:00.001-05:00

dec 18 three more
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

days to go when this picture was shot. Today is the Winter Solstice. Dreaming of the summer solstice. It must have been so hard to be living one hundred years ago.

We have it so easy now and yet we complain so.

Dark Days

2007-12-05T20:41:00.001-05:00

nov 27 sunday
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

are so much too long. Three weeks till the holiday. Less to solstice.

Immortal

2007-12-02T01:15:00.001-05:00

IMG_9110
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Forever or at least for awhile in the hospital entrance. Premise is that these faces will ease anxiety of incoming patients.

nov 24 three

2007-11-24T23:34:00.001-05:00

nov 24 three
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

lazy kids. They laughed at Hairspray. Kids couldn't understand why a man would dress up like a woman. Missed the message of the movie so far. I struggled with my computer again and again. Made some more chocolate food that I shouldn't eat. A bit of sunshine made the day a good one.

nov 18 Look back at me

2007-11-18T21:08:00.001-05:00

nov 18 cooks
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

I thought this was a throw away picture and only used it to practice defining a brush. Some people look at you and some look inside of the camera. There is so much I want to learn and do with my pictures. There is just not enough time to do it in.

nov 11 Point of View

2007-11-11T22:27:00.001-05:00

nov 11 pov
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

She's taken up knitting again. She googled how to cast off. I can knit but it has never given relaxation. Had that dream today about not being able to find my car in the parking lot. Anxiety is awful.

Trying to take pictures from a different point of view. Staying happy or peaceful on a very gray and dark November day.

oct 23 red sky

2007-10-28T22:21:00.001-04:00

oct 23 red sky
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Busy too busy to even write about everything. The sky turned orange for just a few minutes one evening this week. Had to force myself to stop and get the camera. School is consuming everything. Manny really needs a new hairdo or larger helmet.

oct 20 two more

2007-10-20T22:31:00.001-04:00

oct 20 two more
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

pictures before the red bush. October is more like August or July. It's a wonder that the bush knows to turn red. Will there even be any snow? Will my grandson ever have a snow day from school?

it's been very warm here.

oct 13 blue light

2007-10-13T23:03:00.001-04:00

oct 13 blue light
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Still in the hospital. I can't sleep with bright lights, this must be quite an indignity.

sep 12 summers end

2007-09-12T21:22:00.001-04:00

sep 12 summers end
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Morning air is so cool as is the pool. No one wants to swim, it's time to cover it.

Aug 9 new flash thing

2007-08-09T22:25:00.001-04:00

Aug 9 new flash thing
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Played briefly with a new gadget today. The days are the same length but are so short, not enough time for all to be done.

I like the natural light appearance of this thing. Hope I can replicate it again.

july 18 butterfly

2007-07-19T23:31:00.001-04:00

july 18 butterfly
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Neighbor kid showed everyone this poor butterfly in a bucket. Purpose of the showing was their friends who were members of a theatrical troupe who had SWORDS and SABERS. Now second son is pestering intensely for an expensive saber of his own.

Troupe member mentioned Robin Hood and LittleJohn as well as D'artagnan and the Musketeers. Son only knows the Hollywood version with Star Wars and Ninja Turtles. Maybe literature is an answer?

Butterfly's short life, so pretty.

Big Brother is getting better.

2007-07-15T11:29:00.001-04:00

Jensa nominated Danielle and Dick. But Danielle who reminds me of Janelle won the veto. Did last week too. Internet news this morning was that Jen will put up her "buddy" Nick if she removes herself. Then when Danielle has to vote she will have to choose between her Dad and Nick. Such absolute drama! I love this show. A vicarious thrill to do nothing but interact with other people all day and night? Not me for sure.

Who said that cooking is fun?

2007-07-15T11:25:00.000-04:00

Chuckled at this comic today. One of the parts I hate about cooking is trying to please everyone who eats. Don't know why I believe I have to please everyone, but I still do. Oh and then there is cleaning up after. I don't think Rachel Ray cleans any of her spoons or pans. That's why she is always smiling.

july 10 not much

2007-07-12T23:11:00.001-04:00

july 10 not much
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Weird light before the very short storm yesterday. Still not much rain anywhere. It's all in Texas I suppose. First eviction on Big Brother tonight. Should (hopefully) get more interesting soon. Losing a tooth tomorrow, hope it doesn't hurt. Watching Evil Dick. How the heck or why the heck do people pierce their eyebrows? Ears were bad enough. Got five inches of my hair cut off. Feels different, with I could like short hair.

Not much to say, just like the rain.

july 8 swimtrio

2007-07-08T23:10:00.001-04:00

july 8 swimtrio
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Grass is brown, no rain for weeks, ninety-plus degrees, nothing to do but swim. A small tooth has me felled.

june 23 cone

2007-06-24T23:09:00.001-04:00

june 23 cone
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

Love these flowers so much. The colors grab me from my dreary days. They are growing tall like weeds with power.

Went to Menards and actually fixed a couple of things in the house, this gives me a large feeling of power. Shower head wouldn't cooperate, will have to take it back tomorrow. All the pictures on the box looked so easy, but of course my shower had the reverse screw type.

Story of my short life.

Anticipation for more of these gorgeous cones.

june 21 soltice swim

2007-06-21T23:21:00.001-04:00

june 21 soltice swim
Originally uploaded by noearlybird

My favorite day of the year went by so fast. Early morning dentist appointment for one of the kids. No shuttle landing and then rxoptical old eyes appointment for me.

Pool filter, smool filter, the thing is working as hard as I am and the water is still murkier than whatever.

may 18 iris

2007-05-18T21:55:00.001-04:00

may 18 iris
Originally uploaded by noearlybird.

Spring promise
New and old
Fresh and rotten
young and old
Iris and weed

I have a friend dieing of ovarian cancer, the world should just not allow this in spring.

May 11 clouds

2007-05-12T22:29:00.001-04:00

May 11 clouds
Originally uploaded by noearlybird.

weighted in the sky.
heavy things are good.
pausing for value.
making an imprint.

One more day

2007-05-05T23:15:00.001-04:00

Just one more day with you.
Dancing, that soft cheek, the quick feet.
That soft forearm, the smile.
Laughing, saying nothing that we
will not remember except
the feeling of the skin.

Instead I am rewarded a smile
Of such STATURE and shine
That has to be recorded over
And over again.

A trade-off for sure.
Dancing, soft skin and laughter.

may 2 hair

2007-05-04T22:01:00.001-04:00

may 2 hair
Originally uploaded by noearlybird.

Hair in the face, hair in the eyes, hair in the mouth.

apr 28 diva

2007-04-28T23:14:00.001-04:00

apr 28 diva
Originally uploaded by noearlybird.

Ice cream on the next to the next last day of April. Got groceries, mowlawned the yard, got a nap and took the crew to eat junk food amidst the cool evening light.
Life is good, now make my sister better and keep the dandelions from shouting too much.

Where did vacation go?

2007-04-08T00:11:00.000-04:00

Brother got a haircut to look better for school. Snow is hanging around way too long. House is still a mess. Kids are still up waiting for the bunny. The bunny is me. Oven is only half cleaned for the turkey tomorrow. One more day. That's all folks.

mar 31 butterflies

2007-04-03T11:19:00.001-04:00

mar 31 butterflies
Originally uploaded by noearlybird.

Spring vacation.

Cows are standing like statues

2007-03-09T22:52:00.000-05:00

March? Right before my birthday? The ground and air is so cold and unfriendly.
Guess that warm cheek and dancing feet were just a temporary respite.

feb 26 piggy

2007-03-02T22:37:00.001-05:00

feb 26 piggy
Originally uploaded by noearlybird.

Double your sisters, double your frames, double your days.

Power in numbers.

Frankie

2007-02-16T22:15:00.000-05:00

Here she is.

February Sixteenth

2007-02-16T22:11:00.000-05:00

At the end of the day we miss you. Those flapping toffee brown ears. That cranky look. That bad smell. Your beautiful white soft hair.

Will always have the memory of you chasing the toilet paper from the trees with such vengeance.

Frankie, spanky.

jan 17 which way

2007-01-19T22:29:00.001-05:00

jan 17 which way
Originally uploaded by noearlybird.

to go. Which way did he go?

Making decisions sucks. A wannabe impulsive lives this nightmare.

Questions

2006-12-31T12:20:00.000-05:00

I've always had to have a reason for why people do the things they do. The older I get the more I believe Hobbes has it right. Just a few more hours in 2006.

911

2006-12-30T00:07:00.001-05:00

dec 28 nose
Originally uploaded by noearlybird.

I (well Santa) got the kids a cheapo Bratz telephone and hooked it up
in their room. WHAT WAS I THINKING?

This pretty girl dialed 911 on Monday just to see what
would happen. I don't know if that is why she did it as she is still
not confessing to the act.

The sheriff drove up in our driveway and I lined up all the kids,
none would confess. He took my name, birthdate and more stuff I
can't remember now. If only I would've had the presence of mind to
have him take the kids down the road in his car in handcuffs.

I'm fairly sure it was her who did it based on non-verbal language
and more.

I'll be 68 when she is 18. Going to be interesting when I chase her
down at the prom or worse with my cane and walker.

The receiver on the phone is/are giant lips. I'm ruining my kids
with Bratz for sure.

Timer

2006-12-27T21:45:00.000-05:00

Playing with the camera, got the timer thing stuck and could not figure out how to turn it off. Reading an electronic device manual is always a test of intelligence and understanding. There are so many options on a modern camera it is surely a chore to organize just how you are going to write about it all.

I am struggling with organization a lot this year.

dec 24 waiting

2006-12-24T22:45:00.001-05:00

dec 24 waiting
Originally uploaded by noearlybird.

for the kids to come outside for the picture. Only have so much time to do this. Only have so much time to make it right and memorable.

Sun came out today for awhile. I made two kinds of cookies, they really look right. Made Grammie's cake with brown sugar frosting. Have the table ready with the ceramic turkey. Real dead frozen turkey is in the fridge slowly thawing.

Forgot the Mandarin oranges. I know I had my hand on the can in the store. What transpired after that moment I don't know as I couldn't find the can this afternoon.

Hope to get the kids asleep soon. Too much preparing, not enough relaxing. Still haven't learned how to combine these two things.

Can't find the presents I've hidden

2006-12-23T23:56:00.000-05:00

Does anyone else have this problem? I always feel better when you do. It's hard to be the only one.

I bought some things in haste and panic some weeks ago and stuffed them in some closet in the near perimeter, but I'll be damned if I can find them tonight. I figure tonight is the best night to be rummaging through closets and more as the kids will sleep tonight. Tomorrow night they will not.

Six, Seven, Nine, Ten and Ten are ages that allow such skepticism about the whole package of events. How the hell does he get into our house when there is no chimney?

How the hell do I find football cards for the middle girl? I gave that up with the last ex-husband.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen and ladies who cannot find what they have hidden away.

Even the eve of the eve is anxiety ridden in this age.

Can't find my way home, where are Stevie Winwood and my presents?

Winter Solstice

2006-12-21T20:34:00.000-05:00

Shortest day of the year. Always glad when this day is over. I need more light.